Chivalry a hard concept for guys to grasp


By Christine Hegarty

In 2006, singer Nelly Furtado came out with a song, “Promiscuous”, and one of the most famous lyrics that was in that song was “Chivalry is dead, but you’re still kind of cute.”
Although I do love that song, there is one problem I have with it, especially that specific lyric. I want a guy that is cute and can still treat a woman how she should be treated. According to chivalry is defined as the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.
Now I’m not saying I want to find my knight and shining armor, but I do want to have a nice, respectful guy. My dad is probably one of the best role models for how I want a guy to treat me.  After 29 years of marriage, my dad still opens the car door for my mother. He also opens doors for her at stores, restaurants, etc. and holds the door for everyone else as well. Not only does he open the car door and other doors for my mom, but he also always opens the doors for my sisters and me. Because of him, I have very high expectations for guys.
It is rude when a guy asks you out on a date, and he doesn’t pay for the girl, or the girl ends up having to pay for both her and him. If a guy can’t pay for a girl’s ten-dollar meal, there is a problem there, and he shouldn’t have asked her out in the first place. Last year, when my prom group went out to dinner, one of my best friend’s dates didn’t pay for her dinner–did I mention it was prom night? I expect that a guy should pay for the date, and almost any other girl would side with me and say the guy should pay.
When I lived in Alabama, almost any guy would hold the door open for women, no matter the age. Here, you would be lucky if the door doesn’t whack you in the face. I don’t understand why we can’t have the typical “Southern Boy” here at Bellevue West. Now, I’m not saying all guys are bad, because there are some really great guys here, but a lot of guys need to learn how to respect others.
One more thing: there is such a thing called a doorbell that you push to let someone know you’ve arrived. Just a future tip for guys–do not honk your horn, call or text a girl letting them know you are at her house while waiting for her to come out, while you sit in your car. That just doesn’t fly with me and I know for a fact my parents would not appreciate that. I can understand if you’re just picking me up to go to a game or something casual. But if you’re taking me out on a date, you better get out of your car and ring the doorbell, or else I will not be coming out.
I honestly can’t stand when a guy talks to a woman like she is some dog and thinks that they “own” her. I have a lot of respect for others and I expect it back from guys.
I don’t expect to be pampered by guys, I truly just want to be treated right and have a guy respect me the way my dad does. Thankfully, I have met some really awesome guys that have tons of respect for women, but some guys should probably read this twice.