Some of us are aware of the infamous twitter account, @FauxCoachWoodar. Displaying the comical side of dean Doug Woodard, the twitter account has 262 followers. Followers often find the account hitting the team Bellevue West is facing that week, with a friendly diss tweet, or raving about Swine Dining, banana pudding or “Cujo and Co.” I got a chance to talk to @FauxCoachWoodar for a quick Q and A.
Who are you?
FauxCoachWoodard
Where do you live?
Bellevue West school boundary, why do you ask? (now that is funny)
What’s your favorite breakfast food?
I really love a nice bowl of steel cut oatmeal with a raisin, but I have been eating a lot of pancakes lately. I know a few specialty cake chefs (Cujo and Co) that do great work. Along with pumpkins–it’s prime pancake season and there are plenty to go around. They even come in different shapes and sizes depending on the weekly special.
What’s your favorite consequence to give your basketball players?
Swine Dining to-go.
How many three point shots do you shoot a day?
555,555,000.
Who’s your favorite basketball team?
Bellevue West Thunderbirds.
Who’s your favorite football team?
Bellevue West Thunderbirds.
What’s your favorite part of Bell West?
Mid November, when basketball practice starts.
Who would you compare Jaylin Bradley to?
William Wallace of Braveheart, only angrier.
Who would you compare Tyler Ciurej to?
Bruce Banner, very nice, but you don’t want to make him mad.
Who serves better pancakes? IHOP, Village Inn, or Cujo & Co.?
I have applied to be the Cujo & Co. spokesman.
Who’s your all-time most favorite basketball player?
Tie between Pete Maravich and Josh Dotzler.
What are you going to be for Halloween?
Coach Klein.
How many points will Bell West football win state by?
Depends on if Coach Huffman gets bored of calling TD’s.
What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not being a dean?
At my age it is getting more and more difficult to jump out of airplanes, be a great MMA fighter, or even get out of bed in the morning. However, I often find solace in taking a nice nap or four during the afternoon.
Is ball really life?
Yes.
What do you do all day in your office?
Well, Judge Judy comes on at 8 a.m. followed by my all time favorite show “Get Smart.” Then, Mr. Graner and I usually play checkers until lunch time. He beat me yesterday for the first time in four years, but I let him win. After a short nap and a nice lunch, I shoot 3 pointers utilizing our wonderful new Dr. Dish. Also, I always try to check in on Coach Huffman to see how many touchdowns the guys are planning to score that week.
Who’s the most famous person you’ve met?
New BPS school board member Phil Davidson.
Can you dunk?
Only donuts.
I think you should grow your hair back out.
100% agree. Please tell my wife that.
We know you like basketball even more than BBQ, but what is your favorite part about the Bellevue West Football team?
I am glad you asked. A lot of favorites there. I’ll start with Coach Huffman. That guy likes touchdowns as much as I like bounce passes. Then there’s Jadyn (he plays QB for those who don’t know) who throws more TD passes in a game than I take bathroom breaks in a day. Marshawn (Jaylin) Bradley runs like he is mad at a lot of people. Cade, Trystn & Chris look track stars with football pads on. The O line, who is sometimes called “Cujo and Co,” can feed the entire country with pancakes. Kicker Chris has a great leg, but never gets to kick FG’s because coach likes TD’s too much. I could go on, but I think that is more than the 140 character limit.
Codi Pierce
Business Manager
